oh my God
I am dead.
Richard Ayoade is the perfect person.
From our sister publication, ClickHole
The ironic thing about this article is that it’s satire that’s supposed to be making fun of Beyonce’s feminism by comparing her to a “great” feminist like S.B. Anthony, when actually, Beyonce /is/ a better feminist than S.B. Anthony. Like S.B. Anthony was a fucking racist puta who only care about white femininity and stepped on black men and women in order to achive ~suffrage~ like… lmao ?? Susan B. Anthony /IS/ A Shit-Sucking Gutter Feminist
Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…
If they show sports events at bars why don’t they show tv shows?
someone should get to making a fandom bar.
no but can you imagine? fandom themed drinks, tv show maraton nights, discount to cosplayers, and special season finale events.WHY ISNT THIS A THING??!!
This is a thing. It’s called 42 Lounge in Milwaukee.